I know this is pretty lame but I've just finished watching the latest episode of Glee (episode 5, and dare I say Sebastian is so fllyy!) and the part where Blaine told Kurt about how he felt like they're both living it safe struck me. It made me think "hang on, I've been living in my safe bubble for years now. I felt insulted!". I have been living it safe until now. I remember being adventurous, fun and quirky a million decades ago, not caring the hazards that's coming towards me and if I do know, hell do I care? we party, we pull an all-nighters, switch off the phone cause mom is going to super annoy you to come back home that instance and I say "wtf! it's fucking 1AM, still early!", woke up the next day and just zoomed off to everywhere, anywhere. Not a single care in our life.

I'm just boring old plain Jane now. I would not like to believe that working actually sucks your soul out. I love my job. Heck it's the best thing I ever had in my entire life other than me being a male specimen. I lack fire. Probably because the amount of people I give crap about are mostly NOT here and I'm not even sure the people I gave crap about give a crap about me. Or not. Maybe I need to get out more. Exploration is what I need. I kept telling people to live it, go out, see things and experience the oddities of life. I'm such a hypocrite. Well I think all motivational speakers are a hypocrite, except for Oprah if you count as one. 

Or maybe I'm just rushing things. I know something better is yet to come and I've been working my ass for it. All I need now is patience and lots of pray other than hard work. I would like to believe that this is not my time yet. I can wait. I have been waiting. It's a routine for me.

Yeah I believe that. I'm a man with big dreams. I don't have much yet but I can manage on what is now. I can. If everybody can then why not me? I'm not underprivileged, that is what I also believe. 

And fuck critics.